This weekend I received a letter from my new friend Darren who needed advice on how to get his dating feet wet, here is his letter: Hello Goddess Intellect, I’m a guy…I’m 34 years old and I’m a virgin. I’ve never had a girlfriend or been on a date. My question: Would most females be turned off by this? I want to start dating, and I’m just curious as to what females (specifically black women) would think if they found out my “secret.” I get very nervous when trying to talk to women I like.

Also, as an agnostic-atheist, I’m wondering would my lack of religion/believing in god be a problem for most black women. (I’m a black man by the way). I know a man my age shouldn’t be going through what most 14-16 year olds go through. But it is what it is I guess, and I don’t have anyone offline to talk to since I don’t really have friends and it’s kind of embarrassing. We went back and forth and few times as I was fascinated with the fact that he withheld from exploring the wonderful world

It’s not all its cracked up to be at times, but I may not be here writing this if I hadn’t gotten my dating feet wet, and even soaked a few times. I strongly believe that your bedroom business or lack of is yours to keep to yourself until you are comfortable enough with a person to share it. I can’t speak on behalf of all black women, but I know for sure that anyone who does not fit the norm will be subject to both ridicule and praise; it’s the reality of the world we live in.

Instead of focus on appealing to women that may or may not be worth his time I encouraged Darren, to get up and out to build confidence. Dating requires social skills. In this case it’s not about getting girlfriend-ready it’s about indulging in all things Darren and finding like-minded people who share the same interests as him. I found out that Darren loves sci-fi, classical music, and computers. I know a few chicks who are into those things, and yes, black women.